Kids Quarrels

Quarrels among kids of same or different age groups are normal and are a part of everyday life. They are even necessary because kids estimate their strength that way. It's a rule of thumb not to get involved because kids will settle it themselves.

On the other hand, it's required that you are nearby prepared to intervene when needed. I write this from my personal experience because I witness everyday "war" between my two daughters. One is 11 and the other one is 4 years old. No matter the age difference, they always find disagreement points. Those points are completely different but the outcome is the same - quarrel and sometimes even fighting.

When fighting occurs I try to have a discussion with one kid at the time. It's a good way to find out what's going on. The kids also appreciate to have their mom just for themselves. It's the easiest way to settle things and to overcome problems.

I let them find the compromise for themselves. I get involved when arguments go on for a longer period of time. It's good to let them manage the situation because there will be times when parents are not around and they need to learn how to deal with those situations.

I try very hard not to be on anyones side. If I would do that, the conflict would only escalate. If a kid feels threatened the attacks become harder.

I always point out the good things in their relationship, the fact that they have each other unlike the single kids who miss a company. Good strategy is to point out qualities of the other kid. Younger one is creative and older one is an expert for "Barbie" and "Bratz".

Only time when my involvement is really necessary is when they start insulting each other. I don't allow that. They are instantly grounded when insults start to fly. I believe that no problem is big enough to be settled that way.

After quarrels are over we try to get to the bottom of things. We search for the cause of conflict. It's that time when both of them are calm and we can speak nicely.

We had an agreement: next time they decide to quarrel there will be no insults, to remember how much they mean to each other. If they can't settle things they should go to different rooms while they calm down.

They need to respect each other. That's what I'm trying to accomplish.

Maybe this is not the best way to overcome the differences but it works in my family. Please give me your advice on handling kids quarrels in the comments section of this post.