Situations When Women Agree to Sex, Guaranteed

Are you familiar with "Not now dear, I have a headache..." phrase?

There are many excuses but there are also many situations when women wants sex.

1. After argument: There are times when everybody snaps and says things in anger. There are usually the tears involved. When something like that happens the best way to make up is a little tenderness...

2. Moments of extreme happiness: Getting a job, bigger paycheck, diploma or similar creates positive energy. Celebrate those occasions together and channel this energy to love making.

3. Stress: When we go crazy due to pressure or stress, the best cure is sex. After making love, nothing seems so tough. The same goes with headaches - it's mended with sex, too. It stimulates blood vessels.

4. Moderate jealousy: Situations when other woman is "looking" at your man is a challenge. Then we feel the urge to prove him why he picked us from all others.

5. A bit of alcohol: It doesn't mean drinking by gallons. A lot of booze will do the opposite - we'll probably fall asleep or something. One or two glasses, a bit of fooling around and...

6. Hot scenes: Not many women likes to watch "pr0n", but a hot movie scene with Antonio Banderas from your DVD collection would do the trick.

7. Long distance relationships: It's a known fact that most relationships can grow stronger with a bit of separation. If you are not separated - pretend that you are. Don't see each other for a couple of days and the result will probably be good.

8. After abstinence: Abstinence implies no sex - you can stop at kissing and fondling for a few days. After that, the storm is imminent.

9. A bit of creativity: Women can be creative in many areas. Kitchen is also a creative environment for women so you should keep this in mind. In midst of a struggle with pots and pans, surprise her - and do "9 1/2 Weeks".

In any case - the best way to know the right moment is to feel it for yourself.

What Women Wants

What kind of a man women dream of...

1. Romantic: holding hands, flower, candy. Gentle, one who can listen to a woman, generous with compliments and that he can show love.

2. Self confident: but not arrogant. Someone not too jealous, someone not searching for certification of his qualities from opposite sex. Some witty but not pushy.

3. Artist: someone who lives for the moment, who didn't forget how to court, who can write a song. Every woman wants to be a muse, to feel special and unique.

4. Boy: not literally. Someone with charisma, wit, a mix of a five years old boy and grown up man, someone who knows that women are curious and doesn't stick to the rules all the time.

5. Gentleman: someone who hasn't forgotten about old ways. Someone who wants to hold your coat, open a door, light a cigarette. Who pays the bills and asks for a dessert. Comes to pick us up and at the end of the date brings us back to the door. Especially if we have an ex "bad guy". Every women wants a gentleman eventually.

In any case, don't feel too extreme while reading this. And don't pretend. We will know, Look inside yourself and you will find some of the listed types.

No Human Rights For Parents

Here is a list of lost human rights of contemporary parents. List is based on excellent book by Irena Tiodirovic.

1. Right to sleep

• Don't let your child to impose sleeping rhythm, you should do that.
• Whenever your child goes to sleep you should get some rest, too.
• Don't disturb your kid during sleep.

2. Right to regular meals

• You should throw leftovers in trash, not in you.
• Teach your child to like meals that it doesn't.
• When kids go to sleep, have a romantic dinner with your spouse with wine and candles.
• Go to fancy restaurant without kids.

3. Right to go to toilet

• Wait until kids fall asleep.
• Wear a diaper.
• Put kids into a bath tub to keep an eye on them.

4. Right to physical integrity

• Don't take a nap after lunch (it's not healthy and can hurt).
• Become a vegetarian.

5. Right to personal time

• Let your kids organize your free time.
• Don't even think about time off.

6. Right to remote control

• Wear a remote attached to a string around your neck.
• Don't watch TV (it's healthier - physically and mentally).
• Meet Spiderman and everything will be easier.

7. Right to tell little lies

• Say the truth even when you are not comfortable.
• Never tell lies in front of those you educate not to lie.

8. Right to ignorance

• Pretend you don't understand the question to get some time.
• Say: "Ask daddy." It helps, but can jeopardize the marriage.
• Sit and learn.
• Respond with a question: "And what do YOU think?" There is a small chance the kid will give up.

9. Right to love

• Don't knead the kids with your love
• If you really must love, do it without explanations

10. Right to sex

• Remember sex. Bed won't squeak while remembering and it's good for the spine.
• Abstinence! What you need sex for? After all, you already made the kids.
• Book a room in a hotel and meet like lovers. Downside of this approach is that hotel room will cost you as much as a few kids sneakers.

11. Right to insouciance

• Stop worrying, everything will be all right!
• When you are worrying, remember how tiresome was when your parents were worrying over you.
• Don't ever think about what you did as a kid, you will start worrying much more.

12. Right to rest and relaxation

• You can try! Who dares - wins!

13. ________________________________________

14. ________________________________________

15. ________________________________________

All this sounds familiar, doesn't it? There are a few numbers intentionally left blank so you can fill them out!

Guide to Recently Broken Relationships

Love comes and sometimes goes away. When breaking up time comes it's very important how you do it. Woman left alone can sometimes be more dangerous than a hair dryer in a bath tub. Be careful how you break up - it's better to have a friend than foe for life.

First rule is to never tell a woman that you break up by SMS or e-mail. I know it can be awkward but do it in person. If you put a line: "You are OK, it's me who has a problem..." the chances are you will part as friends.

On the other hand, some women can't deal with breaking up. Then there are several options.

First option: Woman wants you back

Breaking up went smoothly, she accepted all of your explanations... and then you get to see her more frequently than before. She hangs out with your friends, wears sexy outfits when you meet, sends you funny messages. What to do?

Ask her for a cup of coffee and repeat all explanations. Don't be rough. If she's even a bit normal it should do the trick.

If she's obsessing then start to avoid her and don't speak to her. You could recommend a psychiatrist or call a police.

Second option: "Friends"

You broke up smoothly but she starts calling you several times a day. She wants to know when is the big game on TV, what are the betting odds, she just found low price spare part for your car... Then you realize that she's even closer to you now then before. What about your new girlfriend?

Well, it's your own fault.

One way is to call a really good friend or an ex to your house and start acting like an Neanderthal. Be careful not to turn this "socializing" into a "Rose War". Women are much more dangerous in this battlefield. You will lose.

Third option: She wants to destroy you

You hear that she's gossiping around from your friends. She uses terms like jerk, hairy idiot... She brings up bedroom troubles with you. She could make things up. Failures in bed, secret fears... She might put up your phone number on every tree in the neighborhood. What now?

1. Wait some time
2. Find a girlfriend who doesn't know your ex
3. Try to gossip for yourself (not recommended)

Fourth option: (the worst) "You will be mine!"

You asked her for a cup of coffee, told her bad news (breaking up), she faintly smiled. Everything looks fine. And then... few days after, you start to receive threatening notes, someone scratched your car...

First thing to do is not to try to understand. By no means, don't pretend it's OK. Ask her family and friends for help. That is if they are sane.

Help her and then gently ask her to leave you alone. It probably should work...

If you can't manage it you can always move to other continent. It's better than some looney, you know!

All in all, think twice before you do something that can make your life miserable. Women are a gentler sex, but... why take chances?

Recipe: "Pizza Roll" Konquers the World By Storm

Pizza Roll is a great meal and it's easy to prepare. This recipe is for six persons. Preparation time is only 45 minutes.

Ingredients:
500g piecrust
300g ham
500g sliced champignons
300g Gauda cheese
200ml sour cream
200g ketchup
2 eggs
oregano, cooking oil

Preparation:
Cut ham in little squares. Use grater to grate Gauda cheese. Slice the champignons. Mix sour cream with two whole eggs.

Put three slices of piecrust one on the top of the other. You should oil all layers of piecrust separately. Place fourth layer of piecrust on the top. Spread ketchup all over fourth layer. Place another oiled layer of piecrust. Put one half of grated Gauda evenly on piecrust. Place another oiled layer of piecrust. Put one half of prepared ham evenly on the last layer. Another oiled layer on top. Place one half of sliced champignons on that layer. Another layer. Spread this layer with prepared mix of sour cream and eggs.

Repeat all mentioned layers one more time.

Spread ketchup with oregano on the very last layer.

Now roll everything in a loaf-like shape.

Place roll into well oiled casserole, spread rest of sour cream and eggs mix on the roll and sprinkle some oregano on top.

Put it into the well heated oven (200 degrees Celsius) and bake for 30 minutes.

Tip: Roll will be much better if you put it into the fridge overnight.

When roll becomes redden get the casserole out of the oven. Cut roll into 2-3 cm wide slices.

Bon apetit!

What Women Ask Themselves on a First Date

On a first date, women talk for 80% of time and remaining 20% are reserved for men. Contrary to the popular belief, we actually think about things while we are talking. Here's a list of things we think about on a first date.

1. His wardrobe: How much time he prepared for this meeting with me? First impression is very important to women. It's imperative that he is neatly dressed. Especially on a first date. If you are sloppy, we ask ourselves: "Why we spent two hours dressing up?"

2. Is he depressive: We don't need cry babies. We are the masters of crying. We are supposed to do that, not men. A man should be a man's man. Depression is not allowed.

3. Is he staring at my breasts: Occasional glance at my decolletage is fine but don't overdo it. We need to be looked at as women. If you overdo it, we'll blush and feel uncomfortable.

4. Is he funny: Stupid and old jokes are OK only if you can tell them appropriately. Otherwise, you are a looser.

5. Is he looking like my ex: Everything depends on our experiences with ex boyfriends. So pay attention and don't repeat their mistakes.

6. Is he listening to me: We can get really angry if we notice that a man is not paying attention to what we talk about. Ask a question or two, even if you are bored. It matters a lot to us.

7. Is he generous: We dream about knights on white horses, you know. Don't let your date pay for dinner.

8. Does he understand me: We will talk at length about our wishes, ambitions and other things. You should recapitulate what we said while we are breathing.

9. Does he keep promises: You should show that you are worth the effort, especially if you are close to long term relationship. Don't give empty promises you can't carry out. Talk about something else instead.

I know we are hard sometimes, but that is what you need to deal with. You know you can't live without us!

You can also read about 10 Things Women Don't Want to Hear On a First Date.

What are you thinking about on a first date? Please let me know by posting a comment.

10 Things Women Don't Want to Hear On a First Date

Since I've been through these things a lot, I decided to spare new generations of women by revealing what you should not say on your first date.

1. Detailed description of your latest illness or operation: We are very squeamish when blood, pain and stink is in question. No women likes to listen about those no matter what kind of "Brad Pitt" you are. This rule is void only if we met in a hospital.

2. Tech-talk: When you start tech-talking, the first thing that comes to mind is: "Either he is playing smart or he wants to make me look dumb." Besides, we probably will not have a clue what you are talking about.

3. Previous relationships: Don't talk about those because we will think that you are not over them yet. Even if you are, we will compare ourselves to her. No woman wants that.

4. Sports: Yes, we heard about Ronaldinho and Tom Brady but we don't discuss Soccer Champions League and NFL. Imagine if you needed to hear about detailed cookies recipe.

5. Travel problems: If you are not Indiana Jones don't bring up this subject. If you start talking about lost luggage at the airport, we will tell you all about bus station hygiene level. Boredom never ends.

6. What you did yesterday: Believe me, this is not very interesting unless you are Jim Carrey and you are just in the middle of making your latest movie and you can make funny faces. You need talent for that. Don't even bother to try!

7. Your car: We don't know engines and carburetors and stuff. There are mechanics for that so we don't need to think about it. I'll make an exception for a Ferrari maybe.

8. Pets: Don't overdo this subject. Just say you have one (or more). We could think that you have problems with relationships with humans.

9. People we don't know: Unless you met the Pope, gossiping about people we don't know will not bring you points. We will think that you are grumpy, desperate or violent when you can talk about that to a complete stranger (us).

10. Sex: Even if we bring up this subject don't talk too much. It's a test! You will give impression that you are desperate, childish, pervert and insecure.

It's a long list. I think you should be able to think of something that is not on this blacklist.

Howto: Cheat Your Wife/Girlfriend

As you probably know by now, I'm a happily married wife. My husband has never cheated me and I don't encourage cheating by any means.

If you decided to cheat on your partner, at least try to do it the right way.

Here's what you should know before hurting your wife or girlfriend:

1. Don't avoid answering a phone: Don't avoid answering a phone when in company of other lady. They both will figure out that something is happening. First one will go nuts because you reject her calls and the other one will just know. Say it's your mom or someone from work and do a routine conversation.

2. Pick different locations: Dating places should be different to ensure no surprises. Find two favorite restaurants, two parks to hold hands in, and pray not to be caught by other lady.

3. Not in firm or neighborhood: The worst thing you can do is to have both ladies from the same environment. Then you are doomed for sure! Don't mingle within pay-list or tenants list.

4. Don't babble too much: Don't speak too much because you are essentially lying to two women. If you are not careful, you will not know what you said to whom. Women like some mystery - that makes you more interesting.

5. Protection: Practice safe sex for everyone's sake. It's the best way to stay out of trouble and ladies will not get uninvited "guests" of any sort.

6. Tree's a crowd: With two women you are the master juggler. With tree you are in trouble. Your schedule if tight even with two. With three - it's close to impossible. Why would you get yourself in trouble?

7. Not on the same day: Women can smell other women easily. They can smell even vague traces of perfume, which isn't their brand. I won't even mention other things. Best way is to have a full day for each lady. If you want to take chances, shower well, change all clothes and get some rest until next meeting.

8. On her outfield: Try to meet the ladies in their places and not in yours. Don't bring them home. There is always a chance of unwanted visit. Even if you want to take chances, carefully remove all traces left by ladies (sheets, clothing, jewelry,...) to avoid tears and apologies.

9. Keep track: Be sure to keep track of important dates, names, phone numbers and little things that ladies like or dislike because you can easily get confused by large amount of information. If you get confused - God help you!

Things you don't know can't hurt you!

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Finally, J.K. Rowling revealed the title of the title of the last book about boy wizard Harry Potter.

The title will be "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows". Spooky isn't it?

My family can't wait for the book to come out next summer. The title is very promising. Who will die!?

The title was revealed on official J.K.Rowling site in a form of a puzzle. It's very entertaining, just like in regular adventure games!

There are several steps you need to follow to reveal the mystery: go to the JKR web site, click non-text version (you need to enable browser popups for that).

Click on the red eraser in the middle of the desk.
Click on the farther door in the mirror to see a Christmas tree.
Click on the top portion of big door in the middle to see a Christmas gloriole.
Click on the upper portion of the mirror to see Christmas decoration on the ceiling.
Click on the spider web to make it disappear.
Click on the fourth chime in the window.
Click the fourth chime again and drag the key to the main door keyhole. The door will open and you'll see a Christmas present.
Click on the present to open it.
Click on "Hangman Game" and complete it by typing letters on the keyboard.

Lot of fun, isn't it?

Kids Quarrels

Quarrels among kids of same or different age groups are normal and are a part of everyday life. They are even necessary because kids estimate their strength that way. It's a rule of thumb not to get involved because kids will settle it themselves.

On the other hand, it's required that you are nearby prepared to intervene when needed. I write this from my personal experience because I witness everyday "war" between my two daughters. One is 11 and the other one is 4 years old. No matter the age difference, they always find disagreement points. Those points are completely different but the outcome is the same - quarrel and sometimes even fighting.

When fighting occurs I try to have a discussion with one kid at the time. It's a good way to find out what's going on. The kids also appreciate to have their mom just for themselves. It's the easiest way to settle things and to overcome problems.

I let them find the compromise for themselves. I get involved when arguments go on for a longer period of time. It's good to let them manage the situation because there will be times when parents are not around and they need to learn how to deal with those situations.

I try very hard not to be on anyones side. If I would do that, the conflict would only escalate. If a kid feels threatened the attacks become harder.

I always point out the good things in their relationship, the fact that they have each other unlike the single kids who miss a company. Good strategy is to point out qualities of the other kid. Younger one is creative and older one is an expert for "Barbie" and "Bratz".

Only time when my involvement is really necessary is when they start insulting each other. I don't allow that. They are instantly grounded when insults start to fly. I believe that no problem is big enough to be settled that way.

After quarrels are over we try to get to the bottom of things. We search for the cause of conflict. It's that time when both of them are calm and we can speak nicely.

We had an agreement: next time they decide to quarrel there will be no insults, to remember how much they mean to each other. If they can't settle things they should go to different rooms while they calm down.

They need to respect each other. That's what I'm trying to accomplish.

Maybe this is not the best way to overcome the differences but it works in my family. Please give me your advice on handling kids quarrels in the comments section of this post.

10 Ways To Fight Stress

Stress is like an avalanche. It starts with little things and then pulls with it the bigger ones. When facing big challenges people try to do them right and in time. Little thins are those that finish us off. When we allow them to...

Main problem is the feeling then life is becoming too complicated, with too much obligations, unpaid bills, broken appliances. Not to mention the cars.

You can't cope with that. There is a way, just be persistent.

1. Make a list: I've made a list of upcoming private and business obligations. For example: visit a doctor, get a car fixed, meetings, e-mails... I've unloaded my brain and became concentrated on other things.

2. Group your obligations: I've grouped my obligations by listing all items connected to an obligation. For instance- shopping: I've made separate lists of groceries, beverages and house cleaning stuff. It's easier to find your way around the store that way. You won't forget anything and you'll finish shopping earlier.

3. Priorities: It's easy to say: "Make plans." It's harder to execute. For me, the first priorities are things that make our life easier and more comfortable. Paying bills for utilities, Internet, schooling... Without paying these I'll have a hard time to complete other obligations.

4. Electronic planner: Electronic planners are handy because they don't occupy a lot of space. All information is in one place and I always have a nice overview of things. It was a fun toy at the beginning and later became a habit. Useful habit.

5. Don't waste your strength on small things: I told you that the little things are the ones that start an avalanche. How many times small tings made you crazy. For example, everything is just fine, your guests are almost here but a light bulb in hallway is out of order; or noisy laundry machine; or used up remote control batteries... I have a rule to do at least one thing from the main list (look at item 1.)

6. Don't just fuss over broken things: Out of order things are the source of stress. Instead of getting nervous I try to fix broken things or call the handyman. It's cheaper then headache pills.

7. Distribute responsibilities: I've distributed responsibilities among my family members. That way I don't need to work all day long. Husband and kids can help a lot when needed. I've reduced my stress level, others were useful and we completed our tasks in time. This can be a model for companies, too.

8. Say "No": I've learned to say "No!" It was hard at the beginning, but... it's much easier now. Why should I do something that is not my responsibility? Collecting toys, preparing books for school... it's not my business. Everyone has to know their duties.

9. Don't hold off things for tomorrow: I've tried the famous excuse - I'll do it tomorrow, I don't feel like doing anything now. Then I realized it's not working that way. Chores started to pile up, my consciousness went wild and stress began to mount. I started working under pressure.
Then I changed my approach. I started to implement previous eight tips. In the beginning, I didn't manage to complete everything on the list (because there were too many) but I didn't panic. Step by step, things went to normal.

10. Think positive: I've learned to face difficult challenges and to get valuable experience out of them. It's not a big deal to do just one thing. Big deal is to accommodate all duties.

All in all, you can always go out with friends. It always helps!

Recipe: Charlotte Cake

Today I'll explain how to make a Charlotte Cake.

Ingredients:
250 grams of margarine
8 tablespoons of sugar
7 larger eggs
250 grams of cooking chocolate
2 vanilla cream
2 packs of lady's fingers
aluminum foil

Preparation:
Put slightly melted margarine and 7 tablespoons of sugar into a mixing bowl. Whisk it well with a mixer.
Melt cooking chocolate with 1 teaspoon of cooking oil and add it to margarine mixture. Whisk again with mixer.
Add one egg at the time and whisk with mixer at highest speed. Eggs should be cold before using.
In a separate bowl, make 1 vanilla cream. There is usually a recipe for that on the vanilla cream packaging. Add it to the mix and slowly stir with a spoon.
Cover the bottom and the sides of deeper pot with aluminum foil.
Melt one tablespoon of sugar with a glass of water (200 grams) in smaller pot.
Quickly dip lady's fingers in sugar water. You must quickly take out lady's fingers to prevent from breaking them. Make a mold out of lady's fingers by arranging them along the sides and the bottom of the pot.
Pour prepared cream and cover the top with what's left of lady's fingers.
Put prepared cake into the freezer for 24 hours.
Decorate with whipped cream before serving.

Bon apetit!