Thursday, June 7, 2007

On-Line Earning, Yeah Right!

One recent study that I've read about in some American papers claims that annual housewife work totals to incredible $130,000. They state that, on average, housewife works for 92 hours a week (kids, household, weekends that are all but weekends). I recognized myself in that article easily, but I frequently think that it isn't enough because I don't get any cash into our home.

So, like many others before me, I got an idea to find some job that would allow me to do my usual routine, to have flexible working hours etc. First thing that came to my mind was to do something on-line. I have all technical stuff needed: cable modem, typing skills, good will and kids approval to use our PC for a few hours a day.

But... it's not that simple. First, I've stumbled over some ads that promise amazing income ($100, $500 and even $1000 a day), with all big capital letters. Only, at the bottom of these ads they ask you to "pay only $49.95" in order to work for them. Needles to say, my goal is to work for money, not to pay to work. If I could spend $50 like that, why would I need a job in the first place?

Next, I went on to read some on-line forums where I found out that most of such offers are frauds, that they pay much less than agreed, or they don't pay at all or they label you as a cheater and claim back your earnings. And you can't trace them at all.

I couldn't believe all this. I spent hours browsing a number of sites, getting annoyed, and all it came down to were just three offers where I've signed up, hoping it would turn out good. Time will tell if my judgement was right. Other offers I've skipped because I don't want my PC to get infected by viruses or spyware and I also think my time is much too valuable to be wasted.

In next post, I'll explain how I did all this. I might be wrong, but everything seems so shady. I don't want to get burned.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Tame Mother-In-Law Recipe

My dear ladies, on the very day we vow eternal love, fidelity and other stuff to our dear husband, we are not vowing only to him. Like it or not, we get one whole family in the package. With our mother-in-law at the helm. You can't live with her and you can't live without her.

I am proud to be among the lucky ones who found common ground with mother-in-law. There were brief moment of weighing willpower but.. we realized that it's better to collaborate. I can't say it's all nice. There are disagreements but nothing that morning coffee can't mend. Just for the record - we live under one roof.

I know there are many women who wage wars with mother-in-law years after the marriage. Why is that? Because she knows that she's not number one on his list. She feels threatened. Mother is scared that another woman will take care of her offspring and she will fail to hide the habit to control him.

All in all, such situations can be nerve wracking. But, try to put yourself in her shoes. Not all those mother-in-laws are bad and evil. They just can't handle the situation by themselves. They are aware that they jeopardize her son's marriage and they are pretty stressed about it. It's something stronger then them.

Here are few rules to make yours and hers lives easier:

1. Call her "mom": As dumb as it looks like, it will impress her and you'll score your first points with her immediately. I handled mine by calling her with only her name.

2. Call her on the phone: You don't need a reason to call her, it's enough to ask how she is doing. You shouldn't waste hours talking and gossiping. Keep it to the basics (how is she, how kids are fine etc...) It's not hard, imagine you have to see her very day, like myself. And I'm not complaining.

3. Don't criticize your husband in front of your mother-in-law: Be aware that she'll always take his side, no matter if he is right or not. That way you could humiliate him in front of his mother and her parenting skills will be questioned. Criticism is allowed only when you tame your mother-in-law. Even then, think twice what and when you'll say. You must not offend her!

4. I love my cuisine and respect hers: They are sensitive about that. Every woman has her own way of preparing food, so there are differences in this case, too. I was immediately open for her comments about how our meals are different and that some stuff she makes is better than mine. There is a trick also. I told her that I would love to taste her specialty and that I would love to have that recipe. That way everybody is happy and content and I still have my own way. I only use her recipes when she comes to lunch.

5. Grandchildren: As much as her views irritate you, try to maintain friendly relationship. She's still the mother of a man you married. Eventually, you'll have someone to watch for your kids. Who will better spoil them if not granny (candy before lunch and all those wonderful things we all grew up with)

If all else fails and you have a problem with your mother-in-law, don't argue with her but address your husband to take care of it. No woman should disturb your marriage, not even your husbands mother. Before any drastic measures try not to be the cause of the bad relationships. A little patience and it should work out.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Guide To Success On a Date

Valentine's Day is nearing. This post is for all of those who are still alone and don't want to be. Until now, I've wrote about what not to do on a first date. Change of tune - here are some tips how to succeed. (This is the last time, I promise!)

1. Be cool: It's very important to be relaxed. If you are always thinking about how you need a partner right away, you won't do much, because every object of your attention will feel the tension.

2. Choose a place: Before you go to action, think what king of person you would like to meet and pick appropriate place for it. Don't look for subtle charmer at a whacky party or party girl at the museum.

3. Smile: Smile and only smile is the most important rule. Of course, be natural. That way, you signal you affection and that you are ready to flirt.

4. Make eye contact: Look through your eyelashes is ideal introduction to flirting. Eye contact is a base of every courting.

5. Surprise your partner with something sweet: Date in a pastry shop can be fun. More direct approach is allowed, too. Go to object of your interest with two ice creams in hands. Who can resist that?

6. Be active: Go out as often as you can: in a park, bar or pool. You'll find people ready to flirt in such places.

7. Show interest: During conversation with that important person, occasionally repeat words which that person spoke. That way you show your interest in what that person speaks and that you carefully listen.

8. Use their name: Try to use the name of the person you are flirting with several times during conversation because you express rapport.

9. Dress properly: Cheerful and colorful outfit can help you to win over the person you are attracted to. It doesn't mean you should look like parrot, though.

10. Buy some flowers: This old trick always works: go to nearest flower shop and gladden us with colorful bouquet.

And now, let's nail down what we learned in previous posts...

5 ways NOT to flirt

1. Avoid old jokes: Don't start flirting with old courting jokes. You won't attract anyone with them and probably do more damage to your chances.

2. Don't insist on telephone number: Instead of persistent and unsuccessful efforts to make that interesting person give away cell phone number, better give yours. If that person is interested you won't wait for long for that SMS. Besides, it is good to turn off your phone during flirting because frequent ringing will be a distraction.

3. Don't talk too much: Two way communication is neccessary during the flirt. It means that you are not the only one who should talk but let the other side speak their minds. If you talk all the time we will loose the interest.

4. Avoid "scanning": Eye contact is welcome but not eye scanning. Women are very sensitive to men's heat to toe looks.

5. Go easy: Don't impose yourselves. Avoid "attacks" on a first date.

Enough of me for now and GOOD LUCK!

Friday, February 9, 2007

Ten Reasons Why Men Enjoy Sex MoreThan Women

My dear fellow women, here is a list of ten reasons why opposite sex enjoys lovemaking more than we do.

Bare in mind that I'm referring to healthy man of appropriate age.

1. They always have an orgasm, and that strengthens their self-consciousness. With us, some other things strengthen self-consciousness and orgasm is at the bottom half of the list.

2. Men pursue clear goals in sexual relationships; as initiatory side in a game of love, they want orgasm; small number of men will stop the act before their satisfaction.

3. They are more daring - most of them fulfills their fantasies and dreams (we are ashamed even of ourselves).

4. They can suppress their feelings and, because of that, they can have an intercourse even when they are not feeling anything towards their partners (they will even promise you a marriage before it, and then...)

5. They benefit on health plan (you know, prostate and stuff...)

6. They almost don't need a foreplay; if both their heads are willing, man can jump right into the action in a matter of seconds (and we need proper alignment of stars and other things)

7. They don't stop half-way through; when their erotic machines steam up nothing will drive off their course.

8. They don't care how they look. Women can be inhibited in bed when confronted to their flaws, and men don't give a dime how they look (they don't mind their nice big bellies while we have thorough preparations before the act. They don't think about that - they have one thing in mind)

9. They almost always want sex - while women can do fine for weeks without sex, men must be active few days a week.

10. They are less demanding - they are easily satisfied.

Now you can understand men better. You could feel a relief after reading this. I believe that we can learn a lot from them. Overall, I also believe that we are not so indifferent towards sex - they are far too active.

Thursday, February 8, 2007

First Date Through Women's Eyes


I already wrote about this subject in posts "10 Things Women Don't Want to Hear On a First Date" and "What Women Ask Themselves on a First Date".

Here are some things you should show off on a first date.

1. Self confidence: You need to show that you are a man with a goal in his life. We look for a man who can provide to our family and take care of our kids. Rich, educated and ambitious fare the best. Even if you are not in these categories you should radiate self confidence anyway.

2. Your buddies: When in group men tend to behave like children. That's a turn-off. They compete with each other, try to say something faster, funnier and ruder than others. Women feel like they are from another planet in such company. No, don't abandon your friends but when on a date stay away from the pack.

3. Manners: To get a full picture about you, we will watch how you contact other people. Did you gave a small tip to the waiter? You're cheap. Did you make fun about fat man in the corner? You are rude. Did you hold the door to older lady? You are cool and she'll like you right away.

4. Money handling: It speaks volumes about you - and not just how you spend it. Wallet full of unordered bills - you are irresponsible. Fat roll of cash outside of wallet - you are showing off your wealth. Elegant leather wallet - you have both cash and style.

5. Call and action: To be more specific - your reaction to our subtle call. We are the ones who make a first move in most of the situations. Movement, smile, firm look... It's your move so watch your step. If you try to take initiative before the call, you are jeopardizing your chances of success.

I hope I've helped a bit with this post. If you have any suggestions please leave a comment to this post. All "naughty" comments are welcome, of course, but some might not get published...

Friday, February 2, 2007

How To Educate Your Kid About Sex

My older daughter is almost 12. She is growing up and her interests change. One new topic for her is sex.

One time we started talking about sex and I discovered that kids in that age already discuss it but no one really has a clue. They are guessing and making up theories which are mostly wrong.

Adults think that younger generations know a lot about sex - they watch movies, they take sexual education classes in schools, they read magazines. Still a lot of answers can't be found that way and adults should help. This is how it should be:

1. Shyness: Don't impose this subject to your kid. Kid should find a time and place to pop the question. It's important to let them know we're available and open for such conversations. Only if you suspect there's something going on which is improper to their age, you should interfere and help them handle that situation.

2. Contraceptives: If you give enough information to your kids about contraception chances are they will use them when they grow up.

3. Values: Don't give yes/no answers with bare facts. You should explain about tenderness, love, security and loyalty. They need solid foundations for sexual relationships.

4. Privacy: Don't read their diaries, e-mails and don't eavesdrop their phone conversations. That will lead to loss of confidence in you. For kids in that age, it's important to have someone they can talk to. It's better to talk first then to make mistakes.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

How To Avoid Arguments With Kids

Are you familiar with situations when you say one thing and your kid wants the other? I go through this every day. I can say I'm fully qualified master of arguments...

My kids often use "exhaustion of opponent" tactics, and that opponent would be me. They demand something multiple times even if my first answer is negative. Especially my younger daughter. She enters the argument very prepared, with all guns blazing and disregarding all opposing arguments.

I do my best to stick to my first decision. I give answers which contain both my decision and a reason behind that decision thus leaving no space for misunderstanding. As soon as kids recognize hesitation in your voice - you are doomed. Then they attack with all available weapons including tears and blackmail...

To avoid these situations I defined three kinds of bans:
1. negotiable things (first the kid has to do something)
2. non-negotiable things (they know that even tears wouldn't help)
3. mid-negotiable things (on which I don't insist too much, like bedtime and PC usage)

Sometimes I don't have time or will to listen to their "strong" reasoning but nevertheless I'm fascinated with the way they present their arguments. They mastered basic diplomatic principles at such young age. That's the main reason why I emphasize discussions where they can understand my opposition.


One thing I know for sure: they are getting better at this every day. That's why I keep in shape...

Monday, January 29, 2007

How To Refresh Your Sex Life - Dedicated To Women

Here are some tips for women to freshen up their love life.

1. Treat him like you just met (it will be interesting)
2. Be gentle outside of bedroom (kiss or touch)
3. Make a date with him, even if it's a short walk (romantic)
4. Talk, but listen (they have something to say, too, you know)
5. Be aware of his sexual desires and needs
6. Dress up (you'll feel sexier and more desirable)
7. Think about bed boredom like a temporary state, not permanent
8. Deal with all conflicts you might have with him because even the smallest ones are bad for sex life
9. Laugh together (laughter is the best aphrodisiac)
10. Be daring and imaginative (men love that)
11. Exercise together (that can get "things" going)
12. If you smoke, don't. It's bad for sex. It's bad for everything, for that matter.
13. Watch your body weight (it can hamper both you and him)

These are pretty common sense tips - you don't have to go to the extremes to be satisfied with your love life.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Three Rules For Pupils Parents

My older daughter is in fifth grade. There weren't many problems with studying but sometimes she needs some stimulation.

1. Learn with the kid: From the first day in school I tried to keep up. Starting with alphabet, math basics to vegetative organs of plants. I try to find out about interesting things that go on in school, we go through her notes and books, discuss lessons... Kids in that age appreciate parents interest in what they do.

2. Learning through games: We browse dictionaries for unknown words. It isn't important if you know the word yourself - it's very interesting for your kid. We play "geography" game, where I suggest a letter from the alphabet and she remembers the names of states, rivers and mountains that start with that letter. We read newspapers together and discuss whatever grabs her attention.


3. Rest: We allocated two hours for serious learning sessions and homework, one hour for recreation (skating, roller skating, bicycle riding...) and the rest of the time is her own. My daughter agreed with that arrangement. She figured out that when she is finished studying she can freely do whatever she wants later.

My way works and the grades in school prove it. You can also try it!

Successful Marriage Tutorial

There are experts to teach you about marriage. I'll post about some things which matter to me and which are invaluable for my marriage.

1. We talk about everything: That way we get to know each other a little bit more each day; though I believe I know very much about my husband.

2. Respect: Respect is one of deepest human desires. I think that respect isn't something that is assumed. I try hard to show him respect every day by thanking him, commending and acknowledging him.

3. Discussion: We can argue but never alienate. Harsh words and yelling are not the answer. When there is argument - we discuss it.

4. Romance: Listening to the music is a good way to start your emotions. There is always a tune which reminds me about my husband and lovely moments spent with him.

5. Individuality: I'm aware that we are two separate beings and different in many aspects. I don't think it's wise to designate just one person for your own happiness. I try to be pleased with myself, to be responsible for my actions and finally for my happiness. My husband is there to make my life better.

These are my basic principles of successful marriage. You need to find your own solution and I hope these tips help.

Friday, January 19, 2007

How to Recognize Women You Should Stay Away From

You too can learn how to recognize various types of women in five minutes.

This is my recapitulation of things I've heard about women from men. My suggestion is to mix all types, stir well and get the ideal combination. There is some of each type in all women! I believe that men do not learn even from their own experience. They think that things will come out differently with the same type of women. Well - they won't.

1. Feminist: "Men are guilty for all wrongs in this world. All men should change sex. Women are divine beings and men aren't." This type thinks that women would make a heaven on Earth only if men would allow them. They are easily recognized by stating that "man think with his little head."

(Whenever you disappoint us we turn into this type)

2. Materialist: They are interested in the depth of men's wallets. They think that they should be financially supported just because they are female. Only real interest is to get what she wants. Some of the nicest girls are the greediest.

(This is due to old habits from stone age)

3. Insecure: These women are very nice at the beginning of the relationship. She's so kind and gentle and she pleases her man. But... soon she starts calling ten times a day just to hear his voice. She needs constant reaffirmation. She needs to be pretty, her hair style is very important and her looks, too. She is in constant fear of rejection. She is afraid of competition.

(It tends to be dull)

4. Romantic: Mom's princess doesn't want to live in a world of unpaid bills and dirty bathrooms. She needs constant care and she is not creative in bed. Run away!

(We are raised with the story about the prince charming)

5. Angry: She is not satisfied, always grumpy and gloomy... They are not nice and they mistreat everyone close to her. They take care only about themselves and don't care who they hurt. They are recognizable by sour look on their face and nice outfits.

(All women are in this category when they have PMS)

6. Spoiled: She is a close relative of "Angry", focused only on herself. She should be the center of the universe. Narcissist.

(Men are to blame for the existence of this kind)

7. Marrying kind: All her friends are married and she's desperate. She doesn't care who is her man and what he does - as long as he takes her to the altar.

(Every woman wants this no matter how much she declines it)

8. Giddily: Expert in manipulation of men. She says only what men love to hear until she makes her catch and then... painful sobering is imminent. She turns into "Greedy" type overnight with the sole purpose of domination over her man.

(Women are "weaker" sex and they should use their advantages in other areas)

9. Flirt: Men spot her miles away because she hunts everything in trousers. She's very proud to be men magnet. She is not loyal and just wants men's attention.

(Men love them, too!)

You were warned!

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Creating Kid's Working Habits

Working habits are very important, especially when your kid starts going to school. Because of that, I started preparing my kids at very young age.

1. Helping kids to organize themselves: I made a mistake because I let them organize themselves. I relized that the kid's priorities are "a little bit" different then those of grown-ups. They want to write a diary to call their friends... Studying was the last on their list. When we realized that grades are not as good as they should be we made a different listo of priorities.

2. List of duties: We made clear what are the priorities. Then we have put that on paper and made that paper visible in their room. There were problems at the beginning for them to fulfill all that was written. They tried to trick me but I was persistent. And stronger. Now, everyting is fine.

3. Studying corner: Studying corner is for studying and for putting away things for school. In drawers of my older kid there were a buch of stuff besides school items. Pictures of Brad Pitt, broken toys, empty bags of chips and chocolates. At first I just warned her to clean that up and when that didn't work I changed approach. I deliberately entered her room while she was in. I started cleanding her desk. In the process I "incidentally" stumbled across private diaries, pieces of papers with names of her friends etc. Then she realized that it's much better for her to clean up herself. Then the secrets reamin secrets.

4. Place to put toys away: At first, toys were scattered all acros thir room. And I mean ALL acrros their room. I was a feat to walk through their room at night and not step on any toy and make loud noises. Putting the toys away made it to the list of priorities. They must put away all toys before going to bed. They put their toys in a closet. To keep order in that closet is too much to ask, though.

5. Cleaning day: Once a month, a whole family gathers in our kid's room and clean up. All toys that are broken beyond repair go to garbage can. We also try to classify the toys. It's not important that toys are mixed up by the evening.

6. Keeping schedule: Lunch is at 1 PM, studying from 2 PM to 4 PM etc. Kids learn to manage their time when they have fixed schedule. This schedule also gives them selfconfidence which is very important for kids.

7. Praise: I commend all cooperation attempts coming from my kids, no matter how small they are. It means a lot to them because they are helping their mom. There is hope that someday it will become a habit for them.

All in all, this is my way of raising kids. I'll be glad if this post is of any help to you.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Situations When Women Agree to Sex, Guaranteed

Are you familiar with "Not now dear, I have a headache..." phrase?

There are many excuses but there are also many situations when women wants sex.

1. After argument: There are times when everybody snaps and says things in anger. There are usually the tears involved. When something like that happens the best way to make up is a little tenderness...

2. Moments of extreme happiness: Getting a job, bigger paycheck, diploma or similar creates positive energy. Celebrate those occasions together and channel this energy to love making.

3. Stress: When we go crazy due to pressure or stress, the best cure is sex. After making love, nothing seems so tough. The same goes with headaches - it's mended with sex, too. It stimulates blood vessels.

4. Moderate jealousy: Situations when other woman is "looking" at your man is a challenge. Then we feel the urge to prove him why he picked us from all others.

5. A bit of alcohol: It doesn't mean drinking by gallons. A lot of booze will do the opposite - we'll probably fall asleep or something. One or two glasses, a bit of fooling around and...

6. Hot scenes: Not many women likes to watch "pr0n", but a hot movie scene with Antonio Banderas from your DVD collection would do the trick.

7. Long distance relationships: It's a known fact that most relationships can grow stronger with a bit of separation. If you are not separated - pretend that you are. Don't see each other for a couple of days and the result will probably be good.

8. After abstinence: Abstinence implies no sex - you can stop at kissing and fondling for a few days. After that, the storm is imminent.

9. A bit of creativity: Women can be creative in many areas. Kitchen is also a creative environment for women so you should keep this in mind. In midst of a struggle with pots and pans, surprise her - and do "9 1/2 Weeks".

In any case - the best way to know the right moment is to feel it for yourself.

Friday, January 12, 2007

What Women Wants

What kind of a man women dream of...


1. Romantic: holding hands, flower, candy. Gentle, one who can listen to a woman, generous with compliments and that he can show love.


2. Self confident: but not arrogant. Someone not too jealous, someone not searching for certification of his qualities from opposite sex. Some witty but not pushy.


3. Artist: someone who lives for the moment, who didn't forget how to court, who can write a song. Every woman wants to be a muse, to feel special and unique.


4. Boy: not literally. Someone with charisma, wit, a mix of a five years old boy and grown up man, someone who knows that women are curious and doesn't stick to the rules all the time.


5. Gentleman: someone who hasn't forgotten about old ways. Someone who wants to hold your coat, open a door, light a cigarette. Who pays the bills and asks for a dessert. Comes to pick us up and at the end of the date brings us back to the door. Especially if we have an ex "bad guy". Every women wants a gentleman eventually.

In any case, don't feel too extreme while reading this. And don't pretend. We will know, Look inside yourself and you will find some of the listed types.

Sunday, January 7, 2007

No Human Rights For Parents

Here is a list of lost human rights of contemporary parents. List is based on excellent book by Irena Tiodirovic.

1. Right to sleep

  • Don't let your child to impose sleeping rhythm, you should do that.
  • Whenever your child goes to sleep you should get some rest, too.
  • Don't disturb your kid during sleep.

2. Right to regular meals

  • You should throw leftovers in trash, not in you.
  • Teach your child to like meals that it doesn't.
  • When kids go to sleep, have a romantic dinner with your spouse with wine and candles.
  • Go to fancy restaurant without kids.

3. Right to go to toilet

  • Wait until kids fall asleep.
  • Wear a diaper.
  • Put kids into a bath tub to keep an eye on them.

4. Right to physical integrity

  • Don't take a nap after lunch (it's not healthy and can hurt).
  • Become a vegetarian.

5. Right to personal time

  • Let your kids organize your free time.
  • Don't even think about time off.

6. Right to remote control

  • Wear a remote attached to a string around your neck.
  • Don't watch TV (it's healthier - physically and mentally).
  • Meet Spiderman and everything will be easier.

7. Right to tell little lies

  • Say the truth even when you are not comfortable.
  • Never tell lies in front of those you educate not to lie.

8. Right to ignorance

  • Pretend you don't understand the question to get some time.
  • Say: "Ask daddy." It helps, but can jeopardize the marriage.
  • Sit and learn.
  • Respond with a question: "And what do YOU think?" There is a small chance the kid will give up.

9. Right to love

  • Don't knead the kids with your love
  • If you really must love, do it without explanations

10. Right to sex

  • Remember sex. Bed won't squeak while remembering and it's good for the spine.
  • Abstinence! What you need sex for? After all, you already made the kids.
  • Book a room in a hotel and meet like lovers. Downside of this approach is that hotel room will cost you as much as a few kids sneakers.

11. Right to insouciance

  • Stop worrying, everything will be all right!
  • When you are worrying, remember how tiresome was when your parents were worrying over you.
  • Don't ever think about what you did as a kid, you will start worrying much more.

12. Right to rest and relaxation

  • You can try! Who dares - wins!

13. ________________________________________

14. ________________________________________

15. ________________________________________

All this sounds familiar, doesn't it? There are a few numbers intentionally left blank so you can fill them out!

Saturday, January 6, 2007

Guide to Recently Broken Relationships

Love comes and sometimes goes away. When breaking up time comes it's very important how you do it. Woman left alone can sometimes be more dangerous than a hair dryer in a bath tub. Be careful how you break up - it's better to have a friend than foe for life.

First rule is to never tell a woman that you break up by SMS or e-mail. I know it can be awkward but do it in person. If you put a line: "You are OK, it's me who has a problem..." the chances are you will part as friends.

On the other hand, some women can't deal with breaking up. Then there are several options.

First option: Woman wants you back

Breaking up went smoothly, she accepted all of your explanations... and then you get to see her more frequently than before. She hangs out with your friends, wears sexy outfits when you meet, sends you funny messages. What to do?

Ask her for a cup of coffee and repeat all explanations. Don't be rough. If she's even a bit normal it should do the trick.

If she's obsessing then start to avoid her and don't speak to her. You could recommend a psychiatrist or call a police.

Second option: "Friends"

You broke up smoothly but she starts calling you several times a day. She wants to know when is the big game on TV, what are the betting odds, she just found low price spare part for your car... Then you realize that she's even closer to you now then before. What about your new girlfriend?

Well, it's your own fault.

One way is to call a really good friend or an ex to your house and start acting like an Neanderthal. Be careful not to turn this "socializing" into a "Rose War". Women are much more dangerous in this battlefield. You will lose.

Third option: She wants to destroy you

You hear that she's gossiping around from your friends. She uses terms like jerk, hairy idiot... She brings up bedroom troubles with you. She could make things up. Failures in bed, secret fears... She might put up your phone number on every tree in the neighborhood. What now?

1. Wait some time
2. Find a girlfriend who doesn't know your ex
3. Try to gossip for yourself (not recommended)

Fourth option: (the worst) "You will be mine!"

You asked her for a cup of coffee, told her bad news (breaking up), she faintly smiled. Everything looks fine. And then... few days after, you start to receive threatening notes, someone scratched your car...

First thing to do is not to try to understand. By no means, don't pretend it's OK. Ask her family and friends for help. That is if they are sane.

Help her and then gently ask her to leave you alone. It probably should work...

If you can't manage it you can always move to other continent. It's better than some looney, you know!

All in all, think twice before you do something that can make your life miserable. Women are a gentler sex, but... why take chances?