No Human Rights For Parents

Here is a list of lost human rights of contemporary parents. List is based on excellent book by Irena Tiodirovic.

1. Right to sleep

• Don't let your child to impose sleeping rhythm, you should do that.
• Whenever your child goes to sleep you should get some rest, too.
• Don't disturb your kid during sleep.

2. Right to regular meals

• You should throw leftovers in trash, not in you.
• Teach your child to like meals that it doesn't.
• When kids go to sleep, have a romantic dinner with your spouse with wine and candles.
• Go to fancy restaurant without kids.

3. Right to go to toilet

• Wait until kids fall asleep.
• Wear a diaper.
• Put kids into a bath tub to keep an eye on them.

4. Right to physical integrity

• Don't take a nap after lunch (it's not healthy and can hurt).
• Become a vegetarian.

5. Right to personal time

• Let your kids organize your free time.
• Don't even think about time off.

6. Right to remote control

• Wear a remote attached to a string around your neck.
• Don't watch TV (it's healthier - physically and mentally).
• Meet Spiderman and everything will be easier.

7. Right to tell little lies

• Say the truth even when you are not comfortable.
• Never tell lies in front of those you educate not to lie.

8. Right to ignorance

• Pretend you don't understand the question to get some time.
• Say: "Ask daddy." It helps, but can jeopardize the marriage.
• Sit and learn.
• Respond with a question: "And what do YOU think?" There is a small chance the kid will give up.

9. Right to love

• Don't knead the kids with your love
• If you really must love, do it without explanations

10. Right to sex

• Remember sex. Bed won't squeak while remembering and it's good for the spine.
• Abstinence! What you need sex for? After all, you already made the kids.
• Book a room in a hotel and meet like lovers. Downside of this approach is that hotel room will cost you as much as a few kids sneakers.

11. Right to insouciance

• Stop worrying, everything will be all right!
• When you are worrying, remember how tiresome was when your parents were worrying over you.
• Don't ever think about what you did as a kid, you will start worrying much more.

12. Right to rest and relaxation

• You can try! Who dares - wins!

13. ________________________________________

14. ________________________________________

15. ________________________________________

All this sounds familiar, doesn't it? There are a few numbers intentionally left blank so you can fill them out!

10 Men-Things That Drive Me Crazy

This post concerns mostly husband's behavior. It's important to know that I'm not a feminist. I'm just writing about some annoying habits of men.

Here are top ten things that usually drive me nuts concerning men:

1. He's head of the family: You get up at the same time as him, sometimes earlier. You prepare breakfast for kids, prepare breakfast for him and prepare his clothes, you properly escort him out of the house for work and that you get to work yourself. Cleaning, cooking, groceries, kids. When you look at the clock the day is almost over. Then he comes back from work and says: "What have you been doing? You are at home all day. I'm the one who puts food on the table, goes to work every day. Where you would be if I'm not around?" Obvious question is where He would be if there is no woman at home?

2. Dirty bathroom: Bathroom and his bathing habits are special topic. Toilet seat is not lifted when needed or it stays up when not needed. Hair on the bathtub, sink. Flooded bathroom is a must. I don't even want to elaborate.

3. Socks: In any given point in time, you can find a pair of dirty socks where they shouldn't exist. If they are visible, it sometimes can happen that he moves them himself, which is highly unlikely because they don't mind them at all. Dirty socks are usually under chairs, in his shoes or sneakers and in all those creative places where you wouldn't dream about finding them. By the bed, for instance. Gross.

4. "I'm the one with brains": Most ideas, when homes are concerned, are thought by a woman. Men are those who act on them (ideas). When it's praising time in front of your friends or family, they are the ones getting all the attention. They wouldn't dream of giving credit where it's due. I wonder why?

5. "Watch for kids while I get some rest": He's back from work, eats a meal, grabs a remote and lies down on a couch watching a ball game. You are stuck with a chair, providing the kids aren't in it. Then he starts napping and seeks some peace and quiet since he had a hard day at work. Kids start to shout and play and then he comments: "Watch for kids while I get some rest". And what kind of a day you had? When he even wanted to know...

6. "What's for lunch?": He's back from work, changes his clothes and asks a famous question, while explaining he's very tired. And what about me? He doesn't dream about getting his hand dirty and to cook something himself. It would be great if I could say just for once "What's for lunch?"

7. His mom: Only his mom is aware of her son's needs. No matter if her son is married and maybe has his own children. He is still her little boy who needs his wishes granted. You are risking "dumped mom's" wrath if you dare to say there are more helpless persons (his kids) in his house then him. She'll question everything: your kitchen skills, your parenting skills right to the point of asking what kind of a woman you are anyway. But it was her son's choice in the first place...

8. "You are responsible for the kids": Dads are the ones who teach the kids all those "wonderful" things like burping, spitting, messing and that all thins can be done tomorrow. And then you have to fix things. When the kids burp in front of someone he exclaims that you are responsible for kid's good manners, forgetting he's also responsible for them.

9. Sex when he wishes: After you worked around the house all day long, fed the kids, bathed them, put them to sleep, prepared clothes for tomorrow, washed the dishes and put everything in its place He wakes up after his nap. While you are fantasizing about going to sleep while finishing the chores he conveniently smiles and you know what's up. It doesn't matter you are dead tired and you don't even have strength to put on your pajamas. He's in a mood. There is a chance that he'll be insulted if you say no.

10. Snoring: You managed to go to bed somehow. You are contemplating the things you need to do tomorrow. Your dear husband is already asleep. You turn out the lights, got to your favorite sleeping position and then... it begins! Horror! It starts quietly, irritating and while the time passes it becomes eye popping thunder. Then, suddenly, it stops... but then he starts to make choking sounds. Everything you can do is to push him repeatedly and to hope that Morpheus will lure you into his kingdom.

Sounds familiar, doesn't it? I would appreciate if you take your time to comment on this worthy subject.