Tame Mother-In-Law Recipe

My dear ladies, on the very day we vow eternal love, fidelity and other stuff to our dear husband, we are not vowing only to him. Like it or not, we get one whole family in the package. With our mother-in-law at the helm. You can't live with her and you can't live without her.

I am proud to be among the lucky ones who found common ground with mother-in-law. There were brief moment of weighing willpower but.. we realized that it's better to collaborate. I can't say it's all nice. There are disagreements but nothing that morning coffee can't mend. Just for the record - we live under one roof.

I know there are many women who wage wars with mother-in-law years after the marriage. Why is that? Because she knows that she's not number one on his list. She feels threatened. Mother is scared that another woman will take care of her offspring and she will fail to hide the habit to control him.

All in all, such situations can be nerve wracking. But, try to put yourself in her shoes. Not all those mother-in-laws are bad and evil. They just can't handle the situation by themselves. They are aware that they jeopardize her son's marriage and they are pretty stressed about it. It's something stronger then them.

Here are few rules to make yours and hers lives easier:

1. Call her "mom": As dumb as it looks like, it will impress her and you'll score your first points with her immediately. I handled mine by calling her with only her name.

2. Call her on the phone: You don't need a reason to call her, it's enough to ask how she is doing. You shouldn't waste hours talking and gossiping. Keep it to the basics (how is she, how kids are fine etc...) It's not hard, imagine you have to see her very day, like myself. And I'm not complaining.

3. Don't criticize your husband in front of your mother-in-law: Be aware that she'll always take his side, no matter if he is right or not. That way you could humiliate him in front of his mother and her parenting skills will be questioned. Criticism is allowed only when you tame your mother-in-law. Even then, think twice what and when you'll say. You must not offend her!

4. I love my cuisine and respect hers: They are sensitive about that. Every woman has her own way of preparing food, so there are differences in this case, too. I was immediately open for her comments about how our meals are different and that some stuff she makes is better than mine. There is a trick also. I told her that I would love to taste her specialty and that I would love to have that recipe. That way everybody is happy and content and I still have my own way. I only use her recipes when she comes to lunch.

5. Grandchildren: As much as her views irritate you, try to maintain friendly relationship. She's still the mother of a man you married. Eventually, you'll have someone to watch for your kids. Who will better spoil them if not granny (candy before lunch and all those wonderful things we all grew up with)

If all else fails and you have a problem with your mother-in-law, don't argue with her but address your husband to take care of it. No woman should disturb your marriage, not even your husbands mother. Before any drastic measures try not to be the cause of the bad relationships. A little patience and it should work out.