No Human Rights For Parents

Here is a list of lost human rights of contemporary parents. List is based on excellent book by Irena Tiodirovic.

1. Right to sleep

• Don't let your child to impose sleeping rhythm, you should do that.
• Whenever your child goes to sleep you should get some rest, too.
• Don't disturb your kid during sleep.

2. Right to regular meals

• You should throw leftovers in trash, not in you.
• Teach your child to like meals that it doesn't.
• When kids go to sleep, have a romantic dinner with your spouse with wine and candles.
• Go to fancy restaurant without kids.

3. Right to go to toilet

• Wait until kids fall asleep.
• Wear a diaper.
• Put kids into a bath tub to keep an eye on them.

4. Right to physical integrity

• Don't take a nap after lunch (it's not healthy and can hurt).
• Become a vegetarian.

5. Right to personal time

• Let your kids organize your free time.
• Don't even think about time off.

6. Right to remote control

• Wear a remote attached to a string around your neck.
• Don't watch TV (it's healthier - physically and mentally).
• Meet Spiderman and everything will be easier.

7. Right to tell little lies

• Say the truth even when you are not comfortable.
• Never tell lies in front of those you educate not to lie.

8. Right to ignorance

• Pretend you don't understand the question to get some time.
• Say: "Ask daddy." It helps, but can jeopardize the marriage.
• Sit and learn.
• Respond with a question: "And what do YOU think?" There is a small chance the kid will give up.

9. Right to love

• Don't knead the kids with your love
• If you really must love, do it without explanations

10. Right to sex

• Remember sex. Bed won't squeak while remembering and it's good for the spine.
• Abstinence! What you need sex for? After all, you already made the kids.
• Book a room in a hotel and meet like lovers. Downside of this approach is that hotel room will cost you as much as a few kids sneakers.

11. Right to insouciance

• Stop worrying, everything will be all right!
• When you are worrying, remember how tiresome was when your parents were worrying over you.
• Don't ever think about what you did as a kid, you will start worrying much more.

12. Right to rest and relaxation

• You can try! Who dares - wins!

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All this sounds familiar, doesn't it? There are a few numbers intentionally left blank so you can fill them out!