How To Avoid Arguments With Kids

Are you familiar with situations when you say one thing and your kid wants the other? I go through this every day. I can say I'm fully qualified master of arguments...

My kids often use "exhaustion of opponent" tactics, and that opponent would be me. They demand something multiple times even if my first answer is negative. Especially my younger daughter. She enters the argument very prepared, with all guns blazing and disregarding all opposing arguments.

I do my best to stick to my first decision. I give answers which contain both my decision and a reason behind that decision thus leaving no space for misunderstanding. As soon as kids recognize hesitation in your voice - you are doomed. Then they attack with all available weapons including tears and blackmail...

To avoid these situations I defined three kinds of bans:
1. negotiable things (first the kid has to do something)
2. non-negotiable things (they know that even tears wouldn't help)
3. mid-negotiable things (on which I don't insist too much, like bedtime and PC usage)

Sometimes I don't have time or will to listen to their "strong" reasoning but nevertheless I'm fascinated with the way they present their arguments. They mastered basic diplomatic principles at such young age. That's the main reason why I emphasize discussions where they can understand my opposition.


One thing I know for sure: they are getting better at this every day. That's why I keep in shape...